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An ongoing series of informational entries

International Women's Day Message. (men can benefit from listening too)

03/8/2018

Please go to Facebook and search for Serenity Wellness Services and see the video blog named International Women's Day Message. 

Becoming Your Highest and Best Self

07/30/2018

What does it mean for one to become their highest and best self? It's a statement that needs evaluating moment by moment. It's not about achieving the ultimate goals of your life before you feel like your highest and best self. This is the message the world we live in has given us for far too long! The reality is you only have this moment, this exact moment you are experiencing, am I being my highest and best right now? That's my only reality. From this present space I can ask more questions, if I feel the answer maybe no I can ask myself what can I do right now that is realistic and feels right for me? One can only achieve a goal or a state of being from the space their in now. Not being in the space of now is where frustration sets in for many people and the highest and best self feels impossible to attain. People picture their end results when planning for their life goals, this can bring feelings of being overwhelmed, hopeless and even paralyzed by the thought of getting the results they long for in life. By staying in a present factual space and looking at only what you can do next, the next right step, can you feel empowered and positioned for success. Lets acknowledge that this is a very hard task what is being proposed in this article. Staying present takes the assumption that you have control over the majority of your thoughts. Most people experience such anxiety from excessive future focused thinking that this task of staying present feels like a major stumbling block. The journey of staying present is a process and one must mindfully, moment by moment, train the brain to stay present. I spend my current place in life dedicated to helping others find their way to the present moment and learning to stay there more then they wonder off to the future and past which creates anxiety and depression. The act of mindfulness and staying present, which brings peace, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself in the journey of becoming your highest and best self.

With Love and Light,

Sheri Lawrence, MA, LMFT, RYT 200 & Owner of Serenity Wellness Services, LLC

Just Be

09/09/2018

Sat Nam- is the Sanskrit word that means "true identity." It is used in Yoga as the seed mantra or saying that is believed to hold all the knowledge of the fully grown tree. If you have worked with me you have heard me say Just Be. This is a powerful saying because ultimately that's all you are, is to BE. Everything else we think we have to do or the roles we play in life are a mere illusion of expectations we put upon ourselves and are put upon us by others as we allow. When everything falls away there is only the conscious awareness of your being- being alive, breathing, observing. The most beautiful way I have ever heard the Psalm "Be still and know that I am God" prayed, is as follows..

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know

Be still

Be

Today attempt to Just Be my friends.

Namaste,

Sheri

Our Blog

An ongoing series of informational entries

Our Latest Blog Entry

June 2016

Is It Too Late To Fix It??


I haven’t blogged in a very long time but I felt there is so much to say on the topic of “fixing a marriage/relationship once the love is gone.” I have been finding myself leaving the office more emotionally exhausted and expended lately than usual and after meditating on what the reason is I realize a few key patterns in people attending therapy.


Most couples come into therapy after they have already mentally and emotionally exited from their relationship. Often there is one person in the relationship who wants to fix it and one who is already planning their exit or exited through involvement in another relationship. I understand people who are wanting to leave a relationship want to come with their partner for reasons such as: “one more try,” “maybe there’s hope,” “I want my spouse to feel better,” and the one I hear the most, “if it doesn’t work they will have a support in place to help them heal.” I always go through the motions of explaining how relationships work at their best through boundaries, time, commitment, bond and intimacy and sometimes people are thankful for the normalcy that has been brought to their attention and make a choice to start the work of re-building (or maybe building for the first time). Then there are those who are also thankful for the knowledge but feel it’s “too late” and make a choice to not proceed to rebuild. Understandably, many people who are exited emotionally, are that way after many years of trying to engage with their partner and unfortunately their partner didn’t respond until they were confronted with the possibility of separation. Relationships are difficult even in the best of scenarios, I find that any relationship can be fixed if two people are willing and able. The common theme in these scenarios is “choice.”


Love is a choice, commitment is a choice, monogamy is a choice, being soul-bonded is a choice. These words are used as feeling words and nothing can be further from the truth of what these words truly are - they are action words. All of these words take work and mindful choices daily, moment-by-moment. After the choice to be in a relationship with daily actions of love, commitment and monogamy, feelings do follow. That’s the great news, a feeling of safety, security, passion and desire, just to name a few, do fill you. I am asked daily “should it be this hard?” My answer is Yes! Yes! Yes! But it won’t always feel hard. It will feel like joy when done and received and the dynamic becomes a norm. The rewards will always out weight the “work.”

Now I want to clarify that this blog is NOT being written toward someone who has emotionally exited from their relationship due to any form of abuse or repeat infidelity. There are absolute times when a person’s safety and well being cannot be negotiated with someone who is doing them harm.

This blog is my observation of years of couples therapy and seeing a culture that is ever rapidly changing and not in favor of keeping balance in people’s lives. When the balance of relational boundaries are over powered by outside influences the relationship is left vulnerable. The recipe for most affairs is vulnerability and opportunity and there is no shortage of opportunity by vulnerable people. Anyone who has participated in couple’s therapy with me knows that I give the analogy of the wounded leg:

“I would much rather you bring me a small wound that we can stitch up than a wound that has eaten away at the limb to the point where perhaps amputation is the most obvious answer at first glance.”


The best time to seek help with your relationship is early, often and throughout the lifespan of your relationship. Prevention is always the best medicine. If your relationship feels ok, fine, mundane or worse - disconnected, like roommates or indifferent, you are already in a dangerous place. Please, do not ignore the signs of a relationship at risk for vulnerability by being left to its own device of feelings.


The biology of love is real. There are chemicals, Oxytocin and Dopamine, that are made in the body upon meeting someone that are necessary for bonding just long enough to procreate, roughly 5 years. After that, you’re on your own to continue to build those chemicals that bring feelings, through new experiences and special time with your partner. The daily choice to be kind, reliable, accountable, and committed and monogamous builds the everlasting true love and bond we search for in relationship. I challenge everyone to Choose mindfulness and bring action in to your personal daily practice of honoring and protecting your relationship.

If you would like more information to help you and your partner, please visit my website at www.serenitywellness.biz to make an appointment.

Sheri Lawrence, LMFT